2.3 KiB
Nibu Proof 001 Critic Summary
All three target critics returned revise, not reject.
The first-pass lowerings preserved the core interlingua meaning and generally obeyed the CultCache profile constraints. The common critique was not semantic failure; it was line-shape pressure. Each output could become shorter, more natural, or more tightly Nibu without weakening target ontology.
Recommended Revisions
Vanilla Brazilian
Original:
spoken_text: Não encosta nesse controle danificado. Quer se colocar em risco por ignorância técnica?
Recommended:
spoken_text: "Não encosta nesse controle danificado. Quer se colocar em risco por não entender o painel?"
Reason: Não encosta works for broad spoken pt-BR, but ignorância técnica
sounds stiff and over-authored. The proposed line keeps the jab while tying it
to the cockpit panel.
Transatlantic English
Original:
spoken_text: "Do not touch that control. It is damaged; one touch may put you directly in harm's way. I am preventing an avoidable injury, not asking politely."
Recommended:
spoken_text: "Do not touch that control. It is damaged. Touch it and you may injure yourself; I am preventing that, not requesting your cooperation."
Reason: The original obeys the transatlantic profile but is too buffered for Nibu. The proposed line keeps cultivated neutrality while making the intervention colder and more immediate.
Contemporary Kanto Japanese
Original:
spoken_text: "その損傷した制御盤、触るな。まだ通電してる。指を焼くぞ。"
Recommended:
spoken_text: "その破損した制御盤に触るな。まだ通電してる。感電するぞ。"
Reason: 触るな is acceptable for abrasive Nibu, but 指を焼くぞ drifts
dramatic. 感電するぞ is more idiomatic and technical for an energized damaged
control, while 破損した is more ordinary for damaged equipment in this context.
Integration Note
The original lowering files were not changed in this critic pass. The critique files preserve the reviewer verdicts and recommended replacement lines. A follow-up revision pass should update the target outputs and traces together so the spoken text, activated affordance reasons, and rejected-affordance notes stay synchronized.