44 lines
2.7 KiB
YAML
44 lines
2.7 KiB
YAML
schema_version: weksa.utterance_lowering.critic_pass.v0
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source_packet_id: nibu-proof-001
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reviewed_file: examples/cultcache-lowering/nibu-proof-001/en-transatlantic.yaml
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target_profile_id: weksa.cultural_ontology.en.transatlantic.v0
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critic_scope: transatlantic English lowering; cross-Atlantic neutrality; measured directness; Nibu voice preservation; trace affordance use
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verdict: revise
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scores:
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meaning_preservation: 5
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ontology_obedience: 4
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naturalness: 4
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nibu_voice: 3
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trace_quality: 4
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findings:
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- severity: minor
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category: meaning_preservation
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note: The source meaning is preserved: the control is unsafe, the player is warned off, and Nibu intervenes to prevent injury.
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- severity: minor
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category: target_register
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note: The line avoids British costume vocabulary, American slang, and old-film accent parody, but "harm's way" and "avoidable injury" make the register slightly generic-institutional rather than sharply cultivated.
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- severity: major
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category: nibu_voice
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note: The utterance is too long for a tense cockpit interruption and diffuses Nibu's abrasive precision across three explanatory beats.
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- severity: minor
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category: measured_directness
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note: The final clause preserves the refusal of politeness, but "not asking politely" is more meta-commentary than immediate hazard control.
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- severity: minor
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category: trace_quality
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note: The trace correctly cites en_transatlantic_lexical_neutrality and en_transatlantic_measured_directness, but rejected_affordances is empty despite the output explicitly avoiding slang, costume Britishness, and old-film parody.
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recommended_spoken_text: "Do not touch that control. It is damaged. Touch it and you may injure yourself; I am preventing that, not requesting your cooperation."
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revision_reason: The revision is shorter, keeps cross-Atlantic neutral vocabulary, preserves measured directness, and gives Nibu a colder intervention stance without adding British costume, American slang, or parody diction.
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trace_notes:
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activated_affordances_ok:
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- en_transatlantic_lexical_neutrality
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- en_transatlantic_measured_directness
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questionable_affordances: []
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missing_affordances:
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- rejected_affordances should name the avoided slang, British-costume, and old-film-parody paths instead of leaving the list empty
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forbidden_flattenings_ok:
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- fake old-film accent spelling was not used
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- class contempt was not used
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- British costume vocabulary was not used
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- American default slang or idiom was not used
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reviewer_limits:
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- Reviewer is not a native dialect authority for cultivated transatlantic English and is evaluating against the draft CultCache profile plus prompt constraints.
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